I spoke with a friend who happens to be a fabulous mom of five (5) children. Yes, five. And it’s great. You see, I’m looking for ways to give our toddler some freedom and responsibility, and one idea in a book by John Rosemond (Making the “Terrible” Twos Terrific!) is to let them get their own snacks. I was hemming and hawing on the pros and cons of this idea, and decided to ask Carolyn what she thinks. I figured she’d tell me either “yes, great idea”, or “no, because of this or that reason based on my experience.”
I got more than I expected. As we talked, she summed up what she was hearing from me: “So what you’re saying is that you’re afraid that if you give Rebecca food in the kitchen that she will drop it and forget about it and Josh will find it and eat it and choke on it and die. Is that what you’re saying?” I didn’t want to admit it, but, yes, that’s exactly what I feared. To be candid, my root hesitation was Joshy dying as a result of my decision to let my toddler eat snacks on her own. And as soon as that fear was verbalized accurately, it went away. Of course, I’m still cautious with our baby and do everything I can to keep him from choking. But the fear ran away with the light of day.
So in an effort to get those fears out there and on there way out of here, here’s a list of my current extreme fears:
- The baby learning to crawl.
- My kids getting cancer because I cut the plastic food packaging and it got in the food and they ingested it and it caused cancer especially because I didn’t do the right things to give them good gut health which would have taken care of the toxins. That’s a big one!
- A serious allergic reaction from the dear hide rug in the loft. (Even though it’s been there for months without presenting issues.)
- Going to the ER for any reason.
- Doing normal summer time things like going to a pool because of drowning. I’m as likely to as the kids!
- Ants taking over the house and Rebecca eating them and getting a horrible disease.
- Rebecca becoming a bully when she’s in 4th grade since she’s in childcare at the gym 3 times a week.
- Joshy being bullied when he’s in 4th grade since he’s in childcare at the gym 3 times a week.
- Joshy screaming. I don’t know why, but I just can’t handle his screaming. I’ll have to think about what the root cause of this is; it’s probably an unreasonable fear.
- Floods in the basement and rain coming through the roof.
- Fungal infection and/or tapeworms from the bathroom leak that’s been fixed but what if it isn’t actually fixed?
- Slowly withering into a partially wrinkled, partially fat shell of a person without a brain and completely lacking energy, due to being in a constant state of gestating and/or lactating for the indefinite future, and likely for the rest of my life.
- The baby napping any less than 2 hours every morning and 3 hours every afternoon.
Haha! That’s ridiculous! It’s true that Rebecca napped like that at one stage of her babyhood, but that was exceptional. Joshy is perfectly within his rights to nap differently, and even less. Gulp. And I can be ok with that. Gulp. Because if I can’t survive with a normally napping baby, we’ve got issues.
See how much it helps to name your fears? Go ahead, try it! Let me know in the comments what exotic/extreme things you fear. One thought: just be careful to not dwell on these things. The point is to get rid of them, not make them worse! So only do this if it helps. And verbalize them to a trusted friend if writing them down freaks you out further.