On Fears. Here Are Some More

Actually this already happened to me, so it's not a fear. The Great Crash of 2009.
Actually this already happened to me, so it’s not a fear. The Great Crash of 2009.

I figured out the fantastical fear that’s behind my aversion to the baby screaming: explosion of the head. (You will find it here, in my first post about bringing big fears into the light, and how they flee when I do this.) When Joshy screams (and this boy is skilled at it!), I worry, subconsciously of course, that my head will actually explode. Hence, the immediate panic reaction to make it stop. Because my brains are in bad shape. We know this from the outside (I could write several posts about Mom Brain), so I’d hate to subject anyone to the horror of what this looks like when the insides burst forth. No one wants to see that. 🙂

Also, for nearly 3 years I fanatically brought my phone with me when I went to the little ladies room in our home(s). This fear is the funniest: I am/was afraid of collapsing in need if medical attention any time I was more than 15 feet away from the couch. (While this may have been a semi-reasonable fear while I was on bed rest, it’s certainly no longer worthy of the “I’ve fallen; and I can’t get up” treatment. [name that 80’s commercial])

Cat fight ensuing after being yelled at by a fellow church-goer after an hour of thinking I should control my children after an hour of trying to get them to whisper.  Funny story: I once went as far as likening church to naptime, and the people in pews to sleeping people, so that our toddler would understand that this is a whispering place. Yeah. All analogies limp a little. But tell me, other than naptime and church time, when do kids need to hush up? And how do they come to understand this need? Since I am reluctant to teach my child that worship and napping are parallel, I live in fear of being in a cat fight.

Sudden home invasion: I read a book in 5th or 6th grade that had a scene like this with Gestapo looking for Jews. Was it Number the Stars by Lois Lowry? Does anyone know? I think I may need to read the book again in order to really confront this fear.

Getting over them one by one,

Thanks for listening/reading/looking(at the photo)/stopping by,

Glory to God,

Mary Clare

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